Tests

Oh [insert deity here] I hate tests. I hate whenever I have to take any type of test. Let me explain. I am home schooled, which means since I'm not in public school, every year I have to go out and spend 2 hours of my life on some stupid test that I only need to take to convince the school board that I am doing work when I am home schooled. But I do have options. I can either A: Go to public school and take the FCAT (of whatever test) that they take, and have to be surrounded by the same dipshits I left public school for. B: Go to a local collage and take the ACT with high schoolers that would rather mock me than take one of the most important tests in their life, a college entrance exam. C: Have someone from the school board to come out to my house and test me, but this option is silly seeing that the school board hates home schoolers and they would love to do every dirty trick in the book to make me fail the test and go back into public school.

Most people don't understand why I hate tests. It's not because of the sitting in a classroom taking an exam for 2 hours that bothers me. It's the extreme test anxiety I get before any test. It's so extreme and happens so much (from small quizzes to the ACT) that I feel like I am going to cry and start sobbing in the fetal position. I hate having it. When I hear and know that I have to take a test soon I get so scared and have so much anxiety that I can't bear it.

The questions going through my head such as "Will I do well?", "How long will I take?", "Will it be difficult?", and "Oh god, I'm going to fail aren't I?" don't help me calm down before a test. Why am I telling you this? Well, it is one of those DAMN times when I have to do a FUCKING test that I don't even want to FUCKING do and it takes up 2 FUCKING hours of my time that could be spent doing something else. The fact that my mother only reminded me today that I have to take the ACT tomorrow means that I am shaking like hell over this. I'm stressed, I'm anxietized (is that a word?), I'm pissed, I'm not ready for another damn test. Good thing there are Doctor Who re-runs on right now, because watching the doctor's adventures is helping the stress a little bit. But I am still stressed.

I don't know why I have test anxiety, but I have always had it. From the first test I did when I was first home schooled, I have had uncontrollable test anxiety. Just check out this wiki article on it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Test_Anxiety)! I match most of the symptoms for every type! Due to me writing this blog post right now, It might add to my test anxiety and make me have difficulties on the test tomorrow that I might of haven't if I didn't have such anxiety about tests.

I need to get my mind off of this damn test..